Open Community Potluck at Erik’s Home

Meet and connect with non monogamous people over a shared potluck meal and conversation

EVENTBRITE TICKET REQUIRED TO HOLD YOU A SPOT AT THE EVENT.

RSVP on Bloom is encouraged for connection opportunities with other attendees but do not count as an attendance ticket.

We welcome people who wants to learn more about non-monogamy, whether you're simply curious or are actively practicing some form of non-monogamy. Experience with non monogamy is not required to attend. We welcome:

• Straight, Gay, and all identities and orientations within the LGBTQ+ rainbow
• Solo Poly, Relationship Anarchist, Polyamorists, Swingers, Monogamous but dating someone Non-Monogamous
• Friend/Ally of someone Non-Monogamous
• And all the other lovely flavors of Non-Monogamy

This community values consent, honesty, authenticity, vulnerability, kindness, and accountability. We invite you into our safe space and hope that you feel welcome and at home here.

LOCATION

Erik’s Home in Sunnyvale. Event address located in the EVENTBRITE email confirmation.

ACCESSIBILITY:

Small step into house, a few steps into living room space. Small step out to patio space.

PETS

There is a cat named Gatsby that will be confined to Erik’s bedroom closet, but he usually has free reign of the house. If you are allergic medicate accordingly.

WHEN ARE THINGS HAPPENING?

We request that you show up on time! If you cannot, show up by 5PM at the latest

4pm - 5:15pm: Socializing and Potluck Food Time

5:15pm - 5:30pm: Opening Circle, Community Guidelines, Topic

5:30pm - 6:30pm: Small group discussion time - Break into small groups and share our thoughts and experiences on the topic, or choose your own topic

6:30pm - 6:45pm: Gather back into one large group. Opportunity to share with the entire group

6:45pm - 8pm: Freestyle socializing

DISCUSSION TOPIC

-NRE (New Relationship Energy) experienced in shiny new relationships

-ORE. (Old Relationship Energy) also referred to as SRE (Steady Relationship Energy)

How would you describe these different energies? 

Pros/Cons? 

Time frame you've experienced for how long NRE can last in different relationships before shifting to SRE? 

Have you ever found yourself looking forward to (or dreading?) the NRE stage? 

Have you ever found yourself looking forward to (or dreading?) a relationship shifting from NRE to SRE energy?

Other topic options : Want to chat about something specific? Here's a list of possible topics. Share in the event chat which ones call to you that you'd like to see discussed.

POTLUCK FOOD

This is a late lunch - early dinner potluck event, so bring food to share. Potluck sign up HERE

Your potluck contribution can be home cooked or take out. All options are much preferred to 5 different types of chips and dip, so please check the potluck sign up before grabbing your food.

If you want a challenge, there are usually people attending who would appreciate Gluten Free, Vegan, Vegetarian, or Low Sugar foods.

PARKING

Street parking is very accessible on nearby streets.

COMMUNITY GUIDELINES

Please read all of the guidelines if you are new, (or if it has been a while since you attended) including the safer space guidelines

CONFIDENTIALITY

• Everything shared in this group should be treated as confidential and private
• Do not greet people outside of this group in a manner that would out them.

COMMUNITY AND LIFESTYLE OVERLAP : Strive to be Aware and Considerate in conversation

• There’s lots of different communities overlapping at this gathering. Some are spicy, some are vanilla, some are both. Keep in mind that topics and activities that you are an enthusiastic YES to talking and hearing about, others sharing the same space with you may not feel the same.
• Not everyone who is non monogamous is comfortable hearing explicit details of other people's sexual experiences. Graphic stories of scenes may be wanted by some, but not by everyone. Read the room and keep details light unless you know that everyone within the immediate hearing area is an enthusiastic YES to hearing it.
• We encourage you to advocate for yourself if a conversation comes up that makes you uncomfortable. For example, you can say: "I'm not comfortable with this topic, can we please talk about something else?" Or you can relocate to a different group.

CONSENT AND RESPECTING BOUNDARIES

• At this event you may see hugging, kissing, and cuddling. Do not assume that what someone does with other people will be comfortable for them to do with you.
• Always ask for consent when entering someone’s personal space. For example, asking someone, “Would you like a hug”? Or “OK if i sit next to you on the couch?”
• If you are asked, we encourage you to take a moment and check in with yourself before responding honestly with a YES or NO.
• If you want to connect (but not in the way they asked) you can say, “I don’t want ___________ but I am open to "_______” (something else). For example “I’m a NO to a hug, but yes to a high five”
• If someone says NO to your request, the easiest response you can give is : ” thank you for taking care of yourself “ and moving on

HOLDING SPACE FOR EACH OTHER

If you feel comfortable doing so, hold space for each other. Holding space means letting others speak their truth, without assumptions, judgement, or trying to fix them. Sometimes this is the only place where someone can have space held for them to simply be and express what they are experiencing.

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SAFER SPACE GUIDELINES

We strive to provide a “safer space” for community members. What do we mean by “safer space”?

In short, a “safer space” is a place where behavioral guidelines support each of us in guarding each person’s self-respect and dignity, a place for open and honest communication, where one has the freedom to speak or not to speak, where one takes responsibility for recognizing one’s own triggers as well as how (and when) other people are triggered, where confidentiality, empathy, and compassion are encouraged and difference is accepted.

Our “safer space” guidelines CANNOT AND DO NOT guarantee your safety, nor do they guarantee that you will always feel safe.

Each of us is responsible for setting and communicating clear boundaries when engaging with people at events. All attendees must respect the physical and personal boundaries of other attendees at all times.

Keep in mind that you can make someone uncomfortable without intending to do so. Comments that may seem innocuous to you can be painful to others. Light touch, hugging, cuddling, and other seemingly innocent forms of physical contact can be offensive or alarming when such touch is given without explicit permission.

Pro-Tip for new attendees: Circulate at events. Be graceful. If you’re enjoying talking to someone, give him or her the opportunity to exit the conversation anyway.

We do not tolerate harassment of any kind. If you harass someone, you will be asked to leave and may be banned from future events. Harassment includes (but is not limited to) making unwelcome sexual advances; making comparative comments about age, race, religion, nationality, sexual expression, gender expression, sexual orientation, weight, or lifestyle; touching, photographing, or recording people without their explicit permission; demanding contact information from others; deliberate intimidation; mockery; stalking; following; and sustained disruption of events.

We believe that most people who attend our events do so without ill intentions. However, if you experience or witness inappropriate behavior, please bring it to the attention of the organizer, host, or a person at the event that you feel safe with.